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Posted by Jessica on May 28th, 2010

Getting my groove back after losing everything

Excuse me if I sound a little out of breath, but I came this close to missing the flight I’m currently sitting on. It’s my fifth flight in four days and I got a little confused in security when they asked me where I was going. Airport security doesn’t like it when you’re confused — they decided to hang on to me for a few minutes. But I made it.

I’m on my way to Saskatoon for the 2010 National Wheelchair Basketball Championships where I’ll be playing with Team B.C. This is my fourth year playing wheelchair basketball, my fourth year on the provincial team, and my third year of playing for Team Canada. If it seems rather crazy that I made a national team after only one year of playing the sport, well — it kind of is.

On the other hand, I had played ‘stand up’ basketball seriously Before.

“Before” is what I refer to as my past life. When I was 21 I was a strapping 5’10 outdoorsy, adventurous girl from Kamloops. I spent my days horseback riding, hiking, and playing sports. I loved to travel; I explored Scotland and New Zealand with a fine toothed comb. “After”, I am a strapping 4’8 — still adventurous, although somewhat less outdoorsy — girl. Most of my time is spent in the gym training for competition, or in the library at law school, or on planes travelling to tournaments.

It’s what happened “In Between” that changed everything.

In Between started on August 6, 2004. I was working as a forest firefighter in the Northwest Territories. My crewmate and I were patrolling a back country dirt road for fires when everything came crashing down. On a grey, non-descript afternoon I was dozing off in the passenger seat when suddenly the truck began to fishtail. Then it flipped three times. Suddenly, I was outside on my back, in excruciating pain.

We had loose equipment in the box of the truck and because the pain was so crazy, the only thing that made sense to me was that I had an axe lodged in my back. I kept begging my crewmate to get it out. He kept telling me there was no axe.

Then I realized I couldn’t feel my legs.

I found out later I had shattered the T11 and T12 vertebrae in my back. I didn’t just break my back, I blew it up. The doctors told me if I hadn’t been in such good shape, I wouldn’t have made it.

In Between lasted over a year — I had two major back surgeries, heart surgery, and spent seven straight months in hospital. I lost sixty pounds and gained a wheelchair. I was paralyzed from the waist down.

Was I still an athlete? I couldn’t play the sports I played before. Was I still into the outdoors? Every time I got off pavement I couldn’t move. Was I allowed to use words like walk or jump? I couldn’t do either anymore. I was like a blank slate.

I had no stories to tell about things I had done because they were all….Before.

A little over a year after the accident I moved to Vancouver to return to university. I was losing my mind in my hometown; everything I once loved doing I couldn’t do anymore and starting over was essential. I started playing wheelchair sports; racing was my first love and soon I began to play wheelchair basketball.

I won’t lie: I was awful. Something I had been so good at, and loved so much, was once again changed for the worse. I sucked and wanted to quit. Luckily, my coaches encouraged me to stick with it. Yes, it was different, but slowly, painfully, I began to figure it out.

That’s pretty much the story of The After: It’s different, but slowly and painfully I’ve figured it out.

Almost six years later it’s a heck of a lot easier than it was. I’m still adventurous and athletic. I use a chair to bust around (which has its pros and cons). I’m 26 now. I met a boy I thought was quite nice and handsome, and we decided to get married. I’ve just finished my second year of law school and in the summer months I travel the world with Team Canada, playing wheelchair basketball.

The After, it seems, is quite all right.

On that note, the flight is coming to an end. I am about to land in Saskatoon where I hope the weekend will bring my second national championship with B.C. Stay tuned for more updates about where this summer takes me!